I Am The Height of Fashion

I really hope that the people on "What Not to Wear" don't ever send a crew down to Karnes City, because if they do, I'm in trouble courtesy of some of my family. Let me preface what I'm about to write by saying that I love all my family and I love receiving gifts from them. I also love that they care enough for my well-being to see that I look good, or am comfortable or not about to pass out from heat stroke in the Texas heat.

Having said that, the first of the two pictures to the left of this post are the two latest pieces of clothing I have received in the past week from family. One is a pink shirt that I am assured all men wear now, and I should join the crowd. While the picture to the left is somewhat different from what is residing in my drawer right now (i.e. no collar buttoned up to the lip, no shirt sleeves that come down to my bulging forearms), it gets the point across. I now own a pink shirt that is suggested I wear to work....where I teach middle school and high school......band..... in a blue collar town. Now as I said before I am extremely grateful to have received anything at all, but I have yet to gather the courage necessary to wear my pink shirt in public. Maybe in the new year. And it won't be a problem that it's a short sleeve shirt because the average temprature here in winter is like 75 degrees!

This second picture is a creation called "cool ties." And while they do look quite distinguished from a fashion point of view, they are also practical! These little ties have beads inside of them that act like a heating pad in opposite. You put this thing in the fridge for up to an hour to soak in some cold water, take it out, wrap it around your neck, or as this picture suggests, your head, and it will keep you cool for hours at a time. I love the idea, unfortunately, on the actual "cool" scale, it ranks just above the fanny pack. Very versatile, very handy, comfy, yet it begs for the wearer to be publicly ridiculed. Let's remember where I work again. Now we begin to see the problem. I'm not saying that I won't wear mine (it came custom made with music notes!), but I will say that it will have to get pretty hot for me to bite the bullet and slap it around my neck, probably not my head, unless a Rambo type situation presents itself. And let's face it, that's entirely possible, I mean I've already done a Jack Bauer, right?

Anyways, let me close by saying that I do truly appreciate my gifts and I hope that if you gave me one of these articles of clothing, you will see that I'm just picking on you guys, and I do it because I love each of you more than words can express. Thanks for caring about me to the point that you would take time out of your day to make sure that I had clothes on my back, but let's hope that the fabled "fashion police" is just that, a fable.