Sorry for not updating in a month, but the end of the year was more hectic than normal, which I'll get to shortly (see next post). First I wanted to explain the title for this post.
This past Saturday night at around 3:25 in the morning, I received a text message from one of my students that stated the following: "Did you hear about Sergio?" Sergio is our percussion instructor who also graduated from the school two years ago and was attending college to be a band director or percussion instructor once he got out, but was having a great time working with our students on the upcoming shows for next fall and winter.
Having just completed the school year, my phone was on vibrate and I didn't hear that I had gotten a message until around 6am when Kayla heard or saw my phone doing something and checked it out. I had a bad feeling about that message, but decided to wait until around 8 to call about it. I called my student and he told me that the young man had died in a car crash around the time he sent the text message. Apparently he was leaving a graduation party and was t-boned by a drunk driver. It did not help that he was also under the influence of alcohol.
The reason I titled the post like I did was that I have spent my entire time this week trying to find words to help kids when there are not words to be said. I attended a rosary service yesterday and his funeral today and at both services I had students who would collapse into my arms sobbing because that's all the pain would allow them to do. I have done a lot of praying over the last few days and just been seeking out how I can help these kids learn to deal with the tragic loss of this individual that they idolized. I wish having attended his funeral today and with it being summer I would be saved from some of the tough times these kids may be heading for experiencing feelings they don't know what to do with and me not knowing what to do or say to make it better or help them process it, but we have a percussion camp scheduled in two weeks that this young man was going to lead. That task has now fallen to the band directors of the two schools involved to not only work on music, but also on the very difficult lessons of life and death and how to use it to maybe let them see God's hand at work in it.
I also got a little frightened when I attended the services for this young man because when the family was allowed to speak to the congregation, they spoke of how music was his life and how it really defined who he was, and I was frightened because I know that someday that could be me. Not to say that having music define my life is a bad thing in itself, but I want it to be said of me when I leave this earth that my music was only a means of drawing people closer to Jesus, that they might be saved because of something I sang or played or in doing so they would be in more of a mindset to make that decision. Or in my daily working with these students that they would be able to see that my real boss is nowhere physically on campus with me, but He's in my heart and His eternal light is shining through me. I'm going to make more of an effort to make sure those I come into contact with see those things in me (which is one of the reasons I wrote it down in this blog).
So, if there is anyone out there who has suggestions on how to make the grieving process easier to understand to teens or has literature on it, I would be greatly interested in it. I just want to be prepared in case one of my kids wants to talk. And they really should teach a class on this sort of thing.
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